It's All About Your Energy

Learn how to balance your love energy

Who knew that being irresistible could be so easy?

What is Love Energy?
Love Energy describes the dance of attraction that takes place between a man and a woman. It’s the vibe in the air that signals whether your relationship will move forward or fizzle out. Love energy is present throughout the life of a relationship; if it’s not properly balanced, the flame of attraction can burn out.

Pay attention to Love Energy and you’ll always know where a relationship is headed.

How do I read a man's Love Energy?
Have you ever projected romantic feelings onto someone who just didn’t feel the same way? That experience is common, and leads to very real misery and pain. So often, that pain is completely avoidable if you learn to pay attention to the natural push and pull of your relationships. 

Love energy can be hard to read because attraction for another person clouds our view. This is where learning to read actions — not just flirtation and sweet-talk — will help you read a man’s commitment level: 

  • Is he actively pursuing you?
  • Is he available and accommodating?
  • Does he treat you with respect and kindness?

If your answer to all three is yes, this is a sign that the energy balance in your relationship is healthy.

If, on the other hand, you feel like he is keeping score, expecting you to “do your fair share,” meet him halfway, and do the work of moving the relationship forward, these are signs of unhealthy and unbalanced energy.


Doesn't balance mean 50/50?  I'm a smart, caring woman shouldn't I contribute half the effort? A 50/50 split works very well among platonic friends. If you want to keep a man in the friend zone, putting forth half the effort — as you would with female friends — is a great strategy.

But to ignite romantic love, you have to learn how to dial down your own energy and adopt a more relaxed approach to dating. When you ease up, emotionally available men are quick to pick up the slack, and their own investment and energy increases as a result. Being less active and more receptive will immediately give your relationships some juice.

How can I create healthy love energy in my life?
Adjusting and calibrating your love energy is a lifelong process. I have found that the quickest and most effective way to begin the process is by adjusting small behaviors until they become habits:

  • Initiate less
  • Receive more


Through these small behavioral changes, you will slowly transition to an abundance mindset (receptive) instead of operating out of fear and scarcity (initiating).

A woman can create more peace and harmony in her romantic relationships by periodically taking a break from texting, checking-in, and constant togetherness. Spend time with friends and family, and focus on your own activities and interests, and you will allow your man's love energy to build.    

"Men feel and acknowledge their love for you more deeply when you allow them space to reflect. For most men, love happens in the spaces in between being together. This is hard for women to understand, because love begins for us during periods of togetherness."

There are many paths to energy adjustment. I focus on behavioral approaches because the results are immediate, and the positive feedback will motivate you to stick with it.   

As a first step, I encourage any woman interested in re-balancing her love energy to explore the dating and relationship approach outlined in the book The Rules, by authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. If you mentally substitute the words “healthy boundaries” for “rules” you will find this book to be a practical, behavior-based guide for nurturing good energy. If you’re not sure The Rules are for you, no worries: Check out my take on using The Rules in an authentic and self-empowering way.

Aside from spending time with my husband and children, nothing gives me greater pleasure than helping my clients find the love they deserve. Please feel free to explore my dating and relationship blog, check out my FREE newsletter, and let's connect on FacebookPinterest, and Twitter. Book a private consultation when you're ready to attract lasting, healthy love.

Many thanks for reading, and warmest wishes to you on your journey! 



A small shift in behavior can bring powerful results. Learn how to  use The Rules to re-balance your love energy  and attract lasting, healthy love.

A small shift in behavior can bring powerful results. Learn how to use The Rules to re-balance your love energy and attract lasting, healthy love.

Expect love. Receive love. Choose love.